Assalamualaikum,


     Finally, I made it. Been busy for all these time and now I am free and able to write. There was so many things happened to me back in those days. Feels like thousands of thorn hits me on the heart, rocks from the mountain smash my back and like I'm invisible to everyone. But now, it's different. Many things has changed and I've been affected too by the changing. I am happy, I am so happy that I could find my way 'home' even though it's not really clear enough or bright enough to get there yet. But I'll find. Because I've been so much far away from my 'home'. I have lost myself. A total loss. I'm tired. I want myself back. The real me. I don't wanna go back to the place that I don't belong to. I deserve somewhere and something better. Maybe I am so blind before, and I was so careless, I made a lot of mistakes. I do stupid things that wasn't me at all. Wasn't supposed I do. Wasn't me, it's not me. People brought me there and I'm a dumb. I felt bad and I hate myself after that. I don't wanna be me. I just wish that I could disappear. Shame of myself. Cry over myself. Every day is the blackest day for me. Dear me, please run away from these. You are so pathetic.


     I now finally can forget almost all of that. I regret so much a lot than I ever thought. I made a huge mistakes by choosing the wrong person. Shame of me. I met someone who really wants to be there for me. I do wanna be someone. I don't know maybe I wanna be place into somewhere different. Perhaps, somewhere where I could find happiness. The place of source of happiness so I could feel happy again. So I could get rid those tears away and bring back my smile again into this face of pale of mine. He impressed me a lot. He did something that I think 'Hey this is what I want' 'This is what I've dreamed for' 'Maybe he's the one?'. These words always lingering on my mind but I just couldn't help to say it. But I just don't wanna make mistakes no more. I'm afraid. But I know how much I need him, He knew my secrets. I don't tell any secrets to anyone even to my friends. But he did something that makes me really wanna talk about that, He helped me. That's a lot more of surprise. I don't know how to thank him. Because I've been living in silence for too long. I just don't know how to be normal. But I tried. I am sorry if I disappoint you or anything. I wanna be the best but I have to do or fix something in myself first before I become a hero. My hope is, 'just stay' because you told me that I deserve to be happy.